Dodge This/Transcript

(Luc wakes up as the alarm clock goes off. He goes about his daily routine and goes to school.)

Radio Announcer: Hey, hey. Good morning Port Doover. It's a brand new Monday, the twelfth.

(At 10:20, Luc and Theo go to gym class and play dodgeball, awaiting the daily pain of being pelted by Jesse in dodgeball.)

Theo: Here we go again.

Luc: Hold me.

Coach Lessard: (blows whistle) Let's get dodging!

(Jesse pummels Luc and Theo with dodgeballs. They end up on the ground, groaning in pain)

Kyle: Whoa, that looked ouchie!

Coach Lessard: Nice technique son, but try rotating your hips. It'll generate more torque! And maximize the ball's face crushing power!

Jesse: You mean like this?

(Jesse throws a dodgeball at Luc's face)

Coach Lessard: Perfect!

Jesse: You know, it just felt right.

(The day resets and Luc and Theo go about the routine again)

Radio Announcer: Good morning Port Doover, it's a brand new Monday, the twelfth.

(They go to gym class again)

Coach Lessard: Let's get dodging!

(Luc and Theo get pelted by dodgeballs)

Kyle: Whoa, that looked ouchie!

Luc: Ya think?

(The day resets and Luc and Theo wake up)

Radio Announcer: Good morning, it's a brand new Monday, the twelfth.

(Luc and Theo go to gym class)

Coach Lessard: Let's get dodging!

(Luc and Theo get pelted)

Kyle: Whoa, that looked-

Luc: Ouchie!

Luc and Theo: We get it, Kyle!

(Luc and Theo walk down the hallway, with ice packs. Shelley the piranha passes them by in the foreground.)

Luc: Every Mondayday it's the same thing! Jesse pummels us in gym class and perfect Kyle's perfect Kyle face never gets a scratch.

(They pass by Kyle, who is being adored by tons of girls. He smiles, causing them all to faint.)

Theo: At least you're icing your face. (turns around and reveals a giant ice pack shoved down his pants) I won't be able to sit for days! (Watch beeps) Wait!

(Theo is alarmed, grabbed Luc's arm and runs for a corridor in the halls)

Theo: 3 ... 2 ... 1.

(At the turn of 11:21, the fire alarm goes off and a herd of students stampede through the halls. A student with his pants half pulled down and a piece of toilet paper stuck to his foot, slowly follows them, hopping on one leg.)

Toilet Paper Kid: Wait ... for ... me!

Luc: Wait a minute! (rubs temples) Getting something/

Theo: Brain bleed? Too many balls to the head'll do that. (puts his butt ice pack on Luc's head)

Luc: No, more of a loophole kind of something. (pushes the ice pack off his head) If we figure out who's balling the dodgeballs and when we should dodge the balled balls. Then we'll know, when and where to dodge the dodgeballs before they're even dodgeballed!

Theo: So what you're saying is we should use the loop to help us calculate all the dodgeball throws before they happen! Making us completely untouchable?

Luc: Well, you dumbed it down a bit, but yeah!

Theo: Luc, with that kind of data, we'll be the kings of cool!

Luc: The dukes of dodgeball!

Theo: But, It'll take time.

Luc: And tons of butt ice. (Luc drops the butt ice on Theo's head)

Theo: I was gunna say research.

(The day resets and "Wakey Wakey" plays on the radio)

Singers: Wakey Wakey.

(In gym class)

Theo: Remember, this is for our own good. No pain, no gain.

Jesse: Ready to face extinction?

Luc: (gulp)

Coach Lessard: (blows whistle)

(The dodgeballs are hurled at Luc)

Luc: AAAAAAAAH!!!

(Luc is pelted and Theo calculates the trajectory of the throws)